Are you intimidating to men quiz
Now that we’ve set the foundation with these two mindsets (You don’t need to take it personally because it’s often a defense, and focus on making people like being around you rather than liking you) it’s time to follow the 5 steps below, based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to become better at dealing with anyone who’s intimidating.
CBT is a well-researched field and is used by psychologists all over the world when it comes to changing behavior and dealing with feelings.
“Here everyone has a fancy Ph D title and I’m just a retail employee” or “Here everyone’s tall and I’m short.”As I’ve written about before, it’s a losing game to try to make people like us.
We want to make people like being Lesson learned: When you’re around people who intimidate you, don’t fall into the trap of trying to prove yourself to them. Instead, keep to the universal principles of likability.
A friend of mine is a prime example of an intimidating person.
She’s pretty, intelligent, confident, has a great education and a high-income job in finance.
One powerful way to do that is to think about what insecurities they might have.
It’s important to know about this because a) it helps us understand that it’s not about us, it’s about them.
This insight helps us to not take their intimidation personally and b) it helps us understand that their “perfect surface” more often than not is a protection for their low self-esteem. It can be stressful to be around intimidating people and feel that being inferior will make them dislike us.
Now that we’re aware of this feeling and accept it, we’re ready for the next step.
You don’t want to walk around in life looking for people’s shortcomings.
As I’ve gotten to know her better she’s opened up about having a low self-esteem.