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And consider giving the special needs parents at your church a break.Don’t immediately run to one of the special needs parents when an extra childcare worker is needed.Please don’t take it personally when your friend who has a child with special needs doesn’t return your text or phone call. I have amazing friends who check in on me, send texts, or just tell me that they’re praying for me, even when I have nothing to give in return. Eden had colon surgery at 1 week old, open heart surgery at 3 months old, spent 4 months in the hospital, and many more hard things. She’ll hold Eden on her lap so I can actually eat a meal, or she’ll play with Eden for a minute so I can have a conversation with another adult. Our other three daughters handle the attention on Eden quite well, but I’m sure they would like some too. With our older three girls, I never had to think about working hard to teach them how to eat, take steps, or jump off of two feet.She loves you, but she really needs your grace and understanding. I know you’re trying to empathize, but it truly is just best to listen, hug, and even cry with your friend. My husband and I are very aware and sensitive to this and work hard to make sure we are spending quality time with all of our daughters. Eden’s Down Syndrome means that she has an extra chromosome in every single cell in her body. I guided them, but it was more of a natural flow of development for them.You can love your friend by loving her “typical” children too. For Eden, though, all of those development markers took a lot of hard work, therapy, and occurred at a later age than our typically developing children.
So, I want to share with you from experience 10 practical ways that you can love your friends and loved ones who have children with special needs: 1. My daughter Eden has Down Syndrome, but that’s not who she is.Did you know that close to 90 percent of families who have children with special needs don’t attend church?Or that many parents of children who have special needs are isolated and feel lonely—it’s just too hard to go out in public—and battle depression?Some of that comes from the extra needs of the child, but some of it comes from the ignorance and the constant assumptions, comments, and actions that we endure from the “outside” world.I have been a mom for over 13 years, and for the first seven years, I was a mom to only “typical” children.
We implement something called an ISP, an Individualized Spiritual Plan, at our church to help with this.