My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year
I was miserable and he would make promises that things would change but they never did.
I didn't realize until later that he didn't care that I was miserable, he was happy and all of those promises were empty in the hopes that he could get me to stay.
Once we broke up he made all of the changes I had been begging for years for him to make..it was too late.
I still remember looking at him one day and realizing I was so completely fed up with our relationship I didn't even want to look at his face.
The two of you haven’t developed a normal intimate life in spite of the fact that you’ve been together for 5 years. When you do anything that approaches being fully sexual, you feel guilty. I urge the two of you to make an appointment with a couples therapist to have a safe place to talk about sex and what you expect of yourselves and each other in terms of intimacy.
He’s been masturbating but has grown increasingly frustrated. He wants to be intimate with you and settles for getting something from your feet. Take your letter and this response with you to jumpstart the conversation. This sounds like a relationship that is worth saving.
He’s not very apologetic for what he’s done, except that he’s sorry THAT I feel violated. I have no memory of this happening prior to a few months ago. I recognize that it might be hard for him to apologize because that would mean acknowledging that he is guilty of actions that many would classify as rape-y. Lastly, I’ve been looking into these kinds of instances, and things like somnophilia, etc. I miss my best friend, and I’m angry that he’s put us in this terrible place. I understand that this is very painful for you but I do think you are asking the wrong questions. We were very much in love and had a great relationship.Reminds me of a quote from HIMYM which i found rather powerful:"We go through life and we change and grow until eventually we're a different person and the only thing we have in common with our past selves is that we look alike.A few months ago, we fell asleep on my couch, and I woke up to him touching me and kissing me under my shirt. I enjoyed it until I came to full consciousness and grew very disgusted that he had been intimate with me while I was asleep.I confronted him and he told me that I only like to make out when I’m half-asleep. And then a third incident occurred, where I woke up to him helping himself, using my feet.