Warning signs of dating abiuse
by Shelley Poston It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs. It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes.While you do not want that to happen, it is reality. Also, if he wants you to meet all his needs, that is close to idolatry (Exodus 20:3, 4). Do not fall for the statement of, “I just care about you so much,” when a guy won’t keep his hands to himself.You will disappoint each other, not on purpose, but you will. The truth is, he cares more about himself in that scenario.
Proverbs makes it clear that you will only be ensnared. You may actually become an enabler who receives the brunt of his anger. Those little childlike qualities may seem really cute right now, but it will grow old (and aggravating) shortly into marriage. If a man is not responsible with his time, money, and work, why would he be responsible in his future family life? You should also consider your date’s relationships with other people.
He is already showing that he is unwilling to “forsake all others,” and that he is not living a pure lifestyle.
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong [defraud] his brother in this manner, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things…” God’s will is for your sanctification, which includes purity. If it is not, then he is a defrauder, who loves himself more than you or God. How does your date cope when things do not go as planned?
If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.
If you are dating a man who expects you to be everything to him and always make him happy, you both are in for a harsh awakening after the honeymoon ends.